PEARLS OF WISDOM FROM CHARIS
Dear Sassy Nation,
Hey beautiful! It’s Charis again, the loud laugher, the wife who is still trying to get it right and the twin mama who definitely hides in the bathroom as often as I need to (even in a mansion lol) and the audacious CEO of Sassy Jones.
So let me fill you in. As you know, we’ve recently moved and we are adjusting well. The neighbors are beautiful and it feels amazing to be right around the corner from the places we enjoy the most. Y’all are my girls so I’m going to be completely raw with my inner feelings about move-in day.
Over the past 2 weeks my anxiety has definitely been through the roof from boxes being everywhere, the movers not delivering the exact services they said they would (and telling us the morning of, that they will not be unpacking anything as we’d previously booked😳) and things just being all over the place. You know all the things that happen with a move!
So when I get a bit antsy like this I always ask myself one question:
Where is this feeling originating from??
Because what I know about human beings is that it is almost never about the surface emotion that presents itself initially. It’s usually about an underlying story, experience or emotion that catapults that surface emotion.
So I dove a bit deeper into this rising feeling of overwhelm to actually break down the thoughts so that I could cognitively restructure them.
Here’s what went through my mind. My thoughts were:
-How long will it take me to completely finish decorating this home? (the biggest thought)
-How long will it take me to unpack since it didn't go as planned?
-Where are my freaking things at??!!! LOL
Control’s origin usually derives from an inadequacy of some kind, whether that be insufficient trust capabilities, feelings of uncertainty or most commonly, fear. So humans try to predict and strangle the outcome as best as we can in effort to guide it toward certainty.
Yep✅ For me personally, I like things orderly and structured. When they are not, it presses my ‘control freak’ button because I don’t have any hard concrete answers to any of the above questions. In that moment, the boxes represented dis-organization and to me, they looked like Mount Everest because things were not pretty, as I like them to be. Whew, that felt good to say out loud.
So I took a step back and surrendered to the very temporary feeling of uncertainty and replaced it with an attitude of gratitude. Yes, I wanted to yell at the moving company for not delivering the services they said they would or the furniture freight service for another delay, but what would it change??? Nada, well maybe my blood pressure lol.
Babe, In a moment where you could let anything at all steal your joy, accept the fact that you are in control of absolutely nothing but yourself (and sometimes not even that LOL). Your perspective about whatever is happening in your day, determines how you will carry out your purpose in that moment and will ultimately design how you show up for yourself & others.
Because listen, what I WILL DO is enjoy and be grateful for every fruit I’ve grown. So however I need to realign myself and my thoughts to do so, I will. Your girl has positive energy to bring forth so the stale stuff gotta move its way out eventually.
(after I travel through my emotions of course, which I’m allowed to have 💁🏽♀️).
So be honest, as I have been with you. Are you afraid to give up control? When was the last time you felt instantly out of control? What do you do to realign yourself? Do you even know if you deal with control issues??
Tell me in the comments below.
Chat soon 💋