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Dear Sassy Nation, 

It’s me, Charis, your girlfriend, trusted designer and leader of Sassy Jones. It’s been a while since I’ve wrote one of these love letters to you, and I just want to catch you up on all things Charis, because I’ve not been as present as I once was.

I want to warn you about how raw this letter is, so if you are here for the happy go lucky blonde, go on ahead and press delete now. But if you’re all in with me, keep reading.

Truth is, chile I've been tired. Exhausted is definitely the proper term. Exhausted from achieving, exhausted from therapy, exhausted from trying to fix everything, everyone and most importantly, myself. But F*ck it… I’m no longer participating.

As I’ve crossed 40 years old, there’s been a relentless, ‘As Is’ clause in my life meaning I’ve increased my capability & capacity to accept and see things as they actually are without fantasizing what I’d like them to be or overstepping my personal boundary to rescue everything.

Expending resources to repair broken relationships with family, managing my personal responsibilities and building an empire has been alot. ALOT. So I fired myself as chief people pleaser. And yea babe, I love it here 😂

Let me know if you can relate

I want to reach out to you differently. Not to inspire you to get out of what you may be feeling or encourage you to rise higher today or give you a life changing word that will make it all better.

Right now, I’d rather simply affirm and acknowledge you right where you are. You may be tired, taking care of the world, carrying folks on your shoulders and trying to find the strength to remain standing yourself. 

I just want you to know, I get you.

So how do we continue to build our lives when you may be energetically exhausted? 

Like, how do we manufacture the effort required to sustain when it feels like our bottom fell out underneath us? 

The answer is simple: Energy Budgeting. 

It’s the simple act of investing your energy where you will receive a return and improving on identifying the things that zap you dry without fail. Start to subtract them one by one. Whether it be work, love, relationships, any & everything. Because life ain’t 1 sided.

So if you’re feeling like you are energetically bankrupt, it’s probably because your focus is probably directed toward activities, people and things that are withdrawing from your energetic bank account with little or no repayment. Some of us are even energetically overdrawn. That’s exactly where I’ve been.

So when I took a look at my own life, I literally made a list of the things that led to energetic bankruptcy and left me feeling depleted like a parasite host. And one by one, I started to turn the volume down on those relationships, things and people in my life.

That requires a significant amount of bravery and absolute immediate deployment of that ‘As Is’ clause that we chatted about earlier in this love letter. And since then, everything has been changing for the better and gotten super light. I also thought about all the things that I do that actually manufacture & create energy for myself; meticulously prioritizing the relationships & interactions that literally give me life. 

One of those things that sets my soul on fire is actually talking with you, open floor moments like this and your truthful responses have always kindled my flame. 

We just get one another, us sassy unicorns.

Energy Budgeting

58 comentarios

Bessie Wilson

Dear Charis, I have wacmtched you for years on the website and listened to you on sparkle. You are the best! from your Generation. I’m not surprised at the things you went through but I’m glad you saw the light of God. Long story short, people that love and give like you do have a big, big heart and then one day God let’s you know that’s enough. It’s a lesson learned about the world but God let you come out and through the test. It’s the same test He went through loving and giving. The difference is He laid down his life for us. We can’t lay our live down fir the world but you loved them and God said that’s enough. We all love you here at my house and we have prayed for you as we see you. You have touched my life and I am much older than you. You have reached the hearts of many and all ages. You are full and running over with love and life. Lesson learned and I will always charish the fun I have whenever I purchase your products. ❤️❤️ the tears 😢 are running down my eyes. Tears of joy.


Yes, I can relate. I had to do the same thing.

Bonnie Anglin

Chile YES!!! I can relate. Though I am 10 years older, watching you and learning from has changed my life. But the most I have learned about saying NO and being okay with saying NO is when I had to take a 10 week medical leave. I have never stopped working, never have I ever taken a break for me and ONLY me. I want for once to get up in the morning because I want to and not because I have to. I get up thinking about everyone else, that they need me to help them get their day started. And when it’s my turn….it’s rush rush rush. I feel like I am running a race against time. Yes, I am tired 😫 So I feel you! Shut down and say NO. Guilt-free.

Natasha Granger-Isom

I do understand where you’re coming from. At times I can feel the stress and tension in my neck and shoulders. Trying to start an online business, working and going to school full time, I question myself if I am making the right choice but I leave it all in God’s hands and wish everyone all the best in whatever your future accomplishments are. God Bless

Chandra McCoy

Yes, this is definitely me!!! I am a care giver for my 81-year-old mom, I am a wife, I am a Glam Mother of a 2-year-old, of which his father, my son is Epileptic, and his wife who also has a sickness that leaves me caring for the baby when they are down, I am the guardian of my 15-year-old great nephew that I have to stay close in talking to and caring for because of him seeing his dad murdered in front of him. Yes, that is a big obstacle that my husband and I took on to care for him along with us getting counseling for him. I learned to relieve some of my stress by just moving on, but I’ve also learned to let some things go. I am so thankful for my SJSS sisters that are always willing to send up prayers and comfort me at times I just feel lost. Charis, you are an inspiration and I have truly learned to let God be in control and always remember, God will not put more on you that you can bear. I Love you with the love of the Lord!!!!

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